the biggest highlight of the amc for me, was being able to hear the amazing grace lee boggs speak. she's 91 and still working her ass off to change our world! if you're still *talking* about changing things and not actively *doing* things to bring about that change, take a look at grace lee boggs and tell me what your valid excuse for sitting on your ass is.

Gateway to Freedom monument, Detroit

as always, the amc for me is about the people as much as the information. i was exposed to so many really dope folks i definitely wouldn't cross paths with in chicago. if you've spent any length of time in chicago, you'd probably understand why. whether it was getting a huge hug from the beautiful spirit otherwise known as adrienne maree brown who doesn't know me from a hole in the wall, but showed me love anyway, or being moved to tears by 78-year old Joan after the opening plenary on Saturday morning (she had almost everyone present in tears), or being energized by scott kurashige during his pop ed workshop, or listening to alexis pauline gumbs read these words during the "hijacking the master's tools" panel, or having a kick-ass hour plus conversation with brittany shoot over live music at alvin's during the saturday music showcase (thank you, brittany for holding other white folks accountable for their supremacist bull), or being cracked up by 18-year old starlett lee of detroit summer collective, the people i connected with, even for a moment, were beautiful and inspiring souls.

the sessions were generally really good, especially grace lee boggs' keynote, and the sessions, "popular education for radical teaching and activism," "throw away the textbooks" (mostly because of the youth the presenters brought with them who spoke about their experiences), "history of black america as told through music" (blair is just awesome) "hijacking the master's tools," and finally being able to see the documentary "no!"

unfortunately, i was hit with a puzzling and extreme amount of fatigue (i literally had a hard time staying awake) during the weekend and i ended up getting fairly sick by saturday, so i missed a lot, and quite frankly, a lot of sessions i just wasn't feeling.

i tend to be very self-critical, but i think slym's workshop went okay generally speaking. i was the facilitator, and i could have done a better job guiding the session in the direction i thought it should have gone given what i was hearing from the participants, but i didn't feel backed-up by the other slym instructors, so i didn't want to appear as though i was taking over things, especially since they're full-time employees and i don't even really work for slym. i guess i didn't want the tension in our group to be obvious to the attendees, but ultimately, i did the folks who attended a disservice. another lesson learned on my part.

what i thought worked:
- moving the conference permanently to detroit (it's much more accessible than bowling green, oh and more to do/see)
- keeping the standard conference format but encouraging those of us presenting to break out of the traditional session structure
- creating more sessions that are youth-led/youth-oriented (i was supposed to co-facilitate with one of slym's youth, but he dropped out of the trip 2 hours before we were supposed to leave, and no one else in our group wanted to do it)
- shifting the friday educator symposium to a more popular education focus, and leaving the traditional model of the educational industrial complex behind
- continuing to add sessions that emphasize the connection between the arts and social change movements (again, blair's "history of black america as told through music" was awesome)
- the diversity of presenters continues to thrill me, and gets better every year
- making sure youth could attend both the always fun as hell bowling party and music show, even though both locations had bars
- invincible asking cigarette smokers to step outside to help the performers and attendees at the music show not be so overwhelmed (she still ended up losing her voice the next day). as someone with asthma, i appreciated not feeling enveloped in smoke
- having wifi available and free at the conference locations and in the dorms for those of us with laptops (a lot of folks were blogging from the conference). the downside is that there weren't enough power outlets for folks like me whose laptop battery last a whopping 20 minutes without being plugged in. it's minor, but important to me because i take notes on my laptop, not paper, because i can type a hell of a lot faster than i can write.
- the music show and bowling turn out to be odd, but ideal venues to chat up and get to know other people, even if you ended up shouting over the music

what i thought didn't work:
- wayne state university felt very strange to me. it felt like an odd, removed city within a city. the dorms were super convenient and comfortable, but it had a weird 70s horror movie feel to it
- access to food was a problem that really shouldn't have been. the cafeteria in the dorm was open for lunch on friday, but closed for the remainder of the weekend, as were einstein's bagels and starbucks, which meant leaving campus on saturday/sunday to find coffee before 9am. sure, the mcdonald's on campus was open but i don't eat at mcd's unless it's absolutely the only option, and it's the last place i'd turn to for coffee. (the irony being that i'm not a huge coffee drinker. i really only drink it if i have to teach in the morning or in the occasional moments i want an iced coffee.) unfortunately, saturday morning coffee meant leaving campus to find a starbucks which i also hate but for different reasons.
- screening full-length films as they tend to run over because nothing really starts on time, and if you want to see the entire film AND not miss the first 20 minutes of the next session, it's impossible. that being said, "no!" would have benefited from a stand-alone screening time, which i'm sure would have been tough to arrange given the overall conference schedule

on a personal note, there are still far too many activists that need to get over themselves. i can't tell you how many people stared through me, or regarded me as though i weren't worthy of knowing. you know the kind of folks i'm talking about. the following passage is taken out of context, but it touches on what i'm talking about. it's taken from this article.
"The result of this approach to organizing -- as far as I've seen it and been guilty of it myself -- is the phenomenon we call celebrity organizers. Everyone knows their names -- they exist in every community. They are amazing and articulate and energetic and inspirational. But more often than not, folks don't have the skills they need to develop true leadership in others."

there are certain people that i encountered last year at the amc, and got the same reaction from them. what i find interesting is we have mutual friends within the activist community, but i'm not worthy of speaking to unless i'm with those people. it's like i have no credibility unless i'm approved by _____________. is there a polite way to say go to hell to those people? no, there isn't, but just as there's the "oppression olympics" there's also the "activist olympics" and i'm not interested in competing. so to those folks that we've all encountered/will encounter/deal with regularly, get over and beyond yourself, or WE'RE not going to get anywhere. the work you "celebrities" do is awesome and inspiring, but stop acting like you're the only one who can do it, and the rest of us whose names aren't known, aren't doing anything.

i'll say it again, the amc attendees are a physically attractive group. it's very distracting. i have to be very careful though, because at my age, most of the hot ones are too young for me. at this stage, i have to say if you're in you're under 30, you're too young for me.

i actually only have 1 page of written notes, so it feels like i wasn't really there. i feel almost like i'm starting from scratch in my activist work, and maybe that's for the best given my current state of feeling like there's no point in my doing this work. (it'll pass in time, i know.) despite the stress of the weekend, i did come away feeling more energized, and i was ready to carry that energy to the us social forum, but that didn't work out, which means that i wasn't supposed to be present in atlanta for it.